Yours truly, Michelle

Shady's Back

2005-04-05T11:17:00.000-07:00

'ello. long time no blog. I've been visiting and commenting on all y'all's blogs but neglecting mine.

How 'bout that seminar yesterday. Thanks Erica. I had no idea how funny Atwood is. She should write a book about her saucy self. I'm sure parts of her find their way into her novels but a character based on her, hmmm. Well, we'll see. She's still young yet, just retirement age, that time in life when many people start to write.

The Handmaid's Tale was my favorite in a whole series of favorite books that we covered in this course. I liked Frahnkenshteen, the short stories, Jane, Adam, our play (especially the Monty Python version) and now Handmaid. What a great reading list. Anyone who missed this course missed a chance to spend time with a lot of great characters (I'm not sure if I mean the ones in the book or the ones in the classroom). I've read some of these texts before, but each reading of the text, discussion and time spend in blogs, delivers a completely different experience. I didn't realize until this course that no two readings, even of the same material are the same. I mentioned that a bit during my Frankenstein blog (or was it Jane?), I said that a text is never the same for me twice...or three times or four. I guess that's why I particularly ejoy discussion-based classes - because I learn so much from everyone else's perspective and experience.

I think I'll take some time to read the Handmaid's Tale over the summer. I think it may seem different when I'm relaxed. I just couldn't put it down on Christmas Day though. It gripped me. Like I said in class, I had a similar experience when I read the Robber Bride. That time, I was home visiting my mom during some kind of holiday. I don't remember where or when exactly. I borrowed her book and whipped through it that day. I'm not sure how I did it, because I think I had my first son by then...maybe he was spending the day with his grampy or something. That probably explains why I rushed it...I wanted to get it read before my time alone with the book ran out. Of course, now my memory is returning. That was it exactly. That tricky Atwood, once she gets me, she doesn't let go. No breaks for meals, no conversations, just read,read read. FAST before anyone notices I'm in Gilead and not in Hampton.

But Adam is sexier

2005-02-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

I can't believe I avoided this novel my entire life just because a) it was written by the same author as Silas Marner and b) the title was more boring than Silas Marner.

I'm halfway through and will finish tonight so today's entry will be small. I will write more later because I'm really curious about the clocks - why are there always references to clocks in the homes and how come no one in that small hamlet can get themselves into the same timezone?

Curious...that's all.

Anyway. Adam, well what can I say about Adam that Eliot hasn't already said. Tall, handsome, broad shoulders, strong arms, stoic, sweet to his younger brother, patient with his mother and SMART! Ok, so he's a little blind when it comes to love, but that just makes him all the more adorable. Of course, maybe by the end of the novel I won't like him so much - remember I'm only halfway through.

And speaking of his mother...what a bunch of nasty mothers in this book.

So it's kind of fun to blog halfway through when I don't really know how the novel is going to pan out- I'm at the curious stage right now....curious about clocks, mothers, religion, the pastoral/rustic. Yes, I'm looking forward to reading the rest tonight. I can't wait actually.

Must run...I have a webpage that's screaming for my attention. (or is that one of my children I hear through the closed door of my study?)

Jane's the best

2005-02-19T05:12:00.000-08:00

I've been reading your blogs and comments, so I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said by many of us when I say that "Jane Eyre" is one of my favorite novels ever. I've tried to figure out why I keep coming back to Jane. She says very little about herself but I know we have so much in common. She never tells me what to do, she just provides through personal examples, demonstrations of how to live true to myself.

I was never locked in a room, but I remember screaming into my pillow when I was sent to my room because I thought my parents were so unfair. I wasn't sent to school, but I remember wishing I could be away from home, and I know that even if the only escape would have been an option like Lowood, I would have jumped at the chance, just like Jane did. I know what it's like to want to escape the safety and boredom of where you are, so I would have left teaching at Lowood and moved on to be a governess in a stranger's home, just like Jane. I probably would have fallen in love with Rochester, been jealous of Blanche, and been torn apart at discovering the woman in the attic. I KNOW I would have run desperately and heedlessly into the unknown when offered the option of being Rochester's mistress.

But here's where I really start to like Jane. I think I might have made the mistake of wandering back once I got really cold and hungry. I fear I may have accepted second best - the mistress role, rather than standing up for myself by making a new life or dying trying. Did you ever see the New Hampshire license plate - it says "Live Free or Die". I've always thought that a little extreme but somehow admirable because I'm not really stubborn and am always willing to negotiate, you know, give a little to get a little. Something is better than nothing. That's just me.

But that's not good enough for Jane! I relate to her because she's like me in a lot of ways, but I admire her because she goes further than I could ever go. She absolutely will not sacrifice her integrity. She's a good girl and she's a strong girl. It's hard to be good AND strong. She knows when to bend and when to hold firm. Most people sometimes give in when they shouldn't or fight too long after they should have let go because they don't trust in themselves.

Jane knows herself. We know this even though she is not self-reflective and reveals very little of her inner self. We know this because her actions show that she is aware of what she can live with and what she can't live without.

I think that's why I always go back to Jane. She stands in for integrity in the face of adversity and I'm reminded when I read her that in books at least, when you do the right thing, it all works out for you in the end.

More on Teenage Crushes

2005-01-26T06:09:00.000-08:00

As mentioned last class, I was never one to admire teen idols, but I did admire (from afar, sadly) boys that I knew. Here's a poem I wrote recently about one boy who I thought was "the bomb", many moons ago...

Shiver

Levi 501s one size too small
but just right
His hooded green eyes, disinterested bored
Bored into mine and I like what I couldn't see.
Made me shiver

20 years later
I still remember his phone number
We sang it along with the song,

Levi jacket with a pack of 20s in the top left pocket
They fit in just right
His lowered eyes, focused on mine, intent
Intent on me and what I might be.
I made him shiver

20 years later...
I still got his number

Teenage Crushes

2005-01-26T05:24:00.000-08:00

If you thought we were off topic in discussing teenage crushes last class, you just didn't realize that it was actually a lead up to this week's readings!

"A Whisper in the Dark" is a sexually charged coming of age story about power struggle between men and women. In this short story, the heroine, Sybil has only two weapons in her arsenal, youth and beauty and is clearly aware of her sexuality and the power that comes with it: "The evident interest he now took in all I said and did was sufficient flattery for a young thing, who felt her charms and longed to try thier power." She employs her charms in her attempt to defeat the foe, her mercenary uncle, who will use any means necessary to regain the wealth he has lost through his life of leisure and waste - even if it means having to marry her or lock her up in an attempt to have her declared insane.

Sybil realizes she is objectified by the uncle and his son, who refer to her as "our new ornament", and understanding her position in the male/female relationship endeavours to take advantage of the position she can gain if she plays her cards right, even if it means exploiting her sexuality to do so. She finds a friend and potential lover in her cousin, Guy, and is aware that they are to married. She develops a crush on in, but she wants to make him love her for a person not as a possession before he asks for her hand in marriage.

Ultimately, she achieves her goal and she gets "the guy" who originally had fallen in love with her youth and beauty, but later upon resucuing her (this is a romance story afterall!) discovers he loves her despite her shorn hair and disheveled condition.

This story is MUCH better than Little Women (I prefer short stories), although I enjoy the parallels between the individuality and independence depicted in the main characters of both of stories. As a young girl I responded to Joe, and as a woman I respond to Sybil. Clearly a headstrong, intelligent heroine who reacts against the marginalization she experiences is a character that Alcott does very well.

Third time's the charm

2005-01-17T10:49:00.000-08:00

I've just finished reading Frankenstein for the third time and enjoyed it more this time than ever before.

The first time I read it, I was quick to condemn Victor for abdicating his parental responsibilities.

The second time I read it, I was quick to condemn society for making a monster out of a feeling, living creature.

The third time I read the novel, the morality was still interesting, but I was really captivated by the way Shelly constructed her story. I noticed how she layered the text by having Robert Walton relay Victor Frankenstein's first-hand account of his story about his creation, the un-named creature, and that the creature is given a voice and a perspective via Victor's account of conversations and later during Walton's face to face meeting with him. The structure of her novel allows for three inter-related stories to go on at the same time and reinforces the parallels between Walton, Frankenstein and Frankenstein Jr. (?).

I also found the novel spooooooky this time! Maybe because I wasn't rushed and already knew the story so I just settled in for a nice little read. I let my imagination run wild and had a good time with all the characters. I think this would make a GREAT movie. I know it's been a movie before but it's never been a movie like I'm seeing it in my head. I had a little trouble with the Dad, and Elizabeth needs some juicing up - she's to placid in the book. I think the captain should be a real strong, likeable character who we don't want to have fall into the trappings of ambition, like our good friend, young Frankenstien. He needs to be everything that Frankenstein was, and should have been. The end of the movie should leave us wondering if Walton really learned his lesson or if he will inevitably be reduced to the level of the rock-bottom dweller, Frankenstien. Maybe Walton is the star, not Frankenstein because we still have hope for his character and hope is good stuff for movie-making.

Maybe the entire script should be moved into a 21st century or futuristic setting, so that the horrors can be horrifying and not laughable to modern audiences. Wait a minute...hasn't all this been done but with robots as the stand-in for the creature?

This just goes to show the timelessness of a great concept and a great story.

Looking forward to my 4th reading of the novel, sometime in the future...

Michelle

Monkey see, monkey do

2005-01-10T08:45:00.000-08:00

I read Dorothy Wordsworth's diary over the weekend. I've decided that if she can do it, then so can I. I started my own journal yesterday and am committed to sticking with it. It seems easier than dieting and exercise! I'm going to be smart like her and not say anything that will get me into trouble later when my husband and kids crack the book open looking for something juicy. I'll just talk about the weather, yardwork, washing the linens,having tea, and recording my headaches and digestive troubles. If only I had a famous sibling, then my journal might get published...

No, that's not fair really, what makes Dorothy's diary compelling is her mention of everyday occurences, and the obvious joy she finds in these small pleasures. This is especially noticable in the Grasmere journal, which I enjoyed more than the Alfoxden journal. While the Alfoxden is more poetic and formally descriptive, the simplicity and attention to detail in the former is more touching and personal.

I would enjoy spending time with Dorothy in her garden. Maybe together, she and I could make something of mine... Maybe she could bring John along to do the weeding (nasty, boring business, that).

On pulling it off with panache

2005-01-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

It has come to my attention that I share this blog template with others in our class. My response is this: I have the confidence to wear my off-the-rack blog template without feeling I've undermined my individualism. It's not always what you wear, but how you pull it off that counts!

The Beginning Blogger

2005-01-03T11:17:00.000-08:00

This is my second attempt at publishing my thoughts as a beginning blogger. Like all beginners, I've had met with a glitch or two, but I'm optimistic(ish) that this time I'll have some begininer's luck. So, without further ado I'll hit the "Publish Post" button, and hope for the best.